This my shit

who am i you ask read and you'll see a completly diferent side of me and the way i was originally

My mind is ripped torn and shattered

my soul beaten and battered

my thoughts are not straight but skattered

i blame the world

for every word

that comes out of my mouth

as my thoughts head south

screams of murderer as I walk down the street

I mean by the way I'm so broke I barely get money to eat

these stone walls

are the only things i feel when experience the falls

of the life i was given

with me the dead have truly risen

i'll never become nothing

thats what my parents tell me

if thats true why all i see is suffering

on the streets in the news

shildren runnin down the streets with no shoes

who's fault is that who's?

i got these bye baby blues

in this game of life there is only one option

LOSE

come near me

you won't like what you see

you try to hurt my family

son't get by my side

you'll soon learn this jekyll doesn't hide

don't act like you take pain in stride

your problem is you have too much pride

it affects us all

in this never ending fall

if you want me to shoot just make the call

i'm done thats all no more talk about falls

and false calls

now run home

don't come back

next time i won't give you so much slack

Practice..

I was reading it..N my mind just went somewhere else..So it wasn't very interesting..

Use a different structure..

Basically, your shit was way to simple..

not bad though compared to some other people *caughs* lykwise *coughs*

lay off the shrooms, k bro..It's not doing you any good^^

,,,,